Overwhelmed? You're Going To Be Okay

It can feel as though every decision in life and work requires a quick, and perfect action. The urgency of a faltering organization or difficult project can cause oscillation between full-bodied determination and desperate resignation. When the pressures of crushing social problems and uncertain politics compound that stress, it is common to feel like the world is collapsing around you.

In many of my coaching relationships lately I've been reminded of the immense pressure felt by we who endeavor for a more just and peaceful world. When every relationship matters deeply, every moment feels filled with injustice, and every opportunity to educate holds the promise for transformation the world can become a incredibly heavy place.

Whether you're an executive in a nonprofit, an educator, a community organizer, or someone just trying to make a difference in your everyday life, our work can feel chaotic and our tasks overwhelming. But at the risk of sounding too glib, let me tell you an important truth: You're going to be okay.

I don't say this lightly.

A couple of years ago, a colleague was sharing with me the changing nature of a previously helpful and warm relationship at work. The prospect of shared projects with this person was starting to become a dark and looming presence in the back of their mind in part because of recent agreements to work together.

The 'what-if' scenarios were spinning through their thoughts and they felt as if a dramatic embrace or distancing with this workmate was needed immediately in order to avoid disaster down the road.

But after some conversation it became clear to my colleague that the current moment did not require immediate action. It was not down to the two heavy options swirling in their mind: burn the bridge or submit to possible mistreatment. 

They realized that their workmate would understand a delay in the start of the project during which my colleague could delay judgement on the direction of the relationship. The reason they gave her workmate was genuine - their stress level made it difficult to make a commitment at the moment but they would revisit the project down the road.

There was a third option beyond the either/or sense that my colleague had. In the absence of enough information to make a decision they could feel confident about, the best choice was to wait and see. To monitor the nature of the relationship until it became clear whether collaboration was possible. And they were able to do this in a way that offered grace to their workmate at the same time.

The idea here is not to put off decisions that need making or to make excuses for not engaging in difficult relationships. Rather, the idea is to recognize how often anxiety or fear lead us to believe that decisive action is required, and required immediately.

Even when immediate, decisive action is required, we can best engage in processes of discernment by grounding ourselves in the acknowledgement that a good way through is possible. We can do this.

The urgency of our work for social and environmental justice does not require us to abandon ourselves to frantic, panicked action. Even when our lives and wellbeing are threatened or attacked, we require breath. We can feel the full emotion and weight of our journey and still believe - we're going to by okay.

How do I know this? Because as human beings we have immense capacity for resilience in the face of chaos. Because we have the amazing capacity for wisdom in the face complexity. Because for every social ill we've created we persist in love and compassion.

You are going to be okay because you're made of wonderful things, with spectacular potential for creativity and discernment. The way forward may not be in sight and the horizon of choices may be narrowing. Still, you're going to be okay. And when you cannot believe that, we'll believe it for you.

You are not alone. We can find a way through.

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