Living A Life Totally Divorced From Reality

The first time I submitted a manuscript to an academic journal was a slightly traumatic experience.

As someone who has always written from their heart, even when the writing was supposed to come from my head, I have had a hard time not being crushed by criticism. Even though I know it's not an either/or proposition, I often feel like you either like my work or you find it imperfect and therefore do not like it. 

So, when I submitted my first solo-article to the journal of the Community Development Society, I tried to ready myself for the inevitable critiques that would come from the anonymous peer-reviewers. I was not ready.

The first reviewer had a laundry list of things I should address to make the article stronger, but also said that it was an interesting and potentially important article for the field. With the feeling of nausea present but manageable, I thought to myself, "OK, you knew it wasn't perfect, you knew it would need more work. You're not even surprised at what they pointed out. They were weak spots you were aware of. Focus on the fact that they think it's worth pursuing still."

So, feeling shaky, but resolved, I turned to the next reviewers notes. Suffice it to say, they found the whole thing rather worthless. And didn't have much sense of restraint in letting me know. One phrase stuck out:

"The author's examples are totally divorced from reality."

I was totally crushed. The reviewer not only argued with my analysis and critique of the article's topic, and, not only found that my submission had no value to the publication or the broader field, they also stated that my thoughts had no basis in real life. That my whole perspective was not just mistaken, it was pure fantasy.

A third reviewer was brought in to break the tie, and the manuscript went forward. But it took me a full month to return to the work and consider the validity of both the critiques and the encouragements. It felt like the work was either good or it wasn't - and the words of the negative reviewer undermined my acceptance of the other two reviewer's constructive critiques. 

By the time the article was published nearly three years later, I was generally pleased with it. But I'll never forget the critique. Now I find it kind of funny - I'm seriously considering insisting my gravestone someday reads "He was totally divorced from reality" - but there was a truth in the critique that I felt for some time was a wrong I needed to right about myself.

The point of that article was to argue for more room for mystery, depth, reflection, and uncertainty within the study and practice of sustainable communities. But to do so was also to question the dominance of predictability, control, and certainty in science and economics. I knew that there would be naysayers - it would have been a boring, unneeded article if not.

Those of us working to transform our communities into places where the dignity and wellbeing of all is created and cherished, can feel "totally divorced from reality." When we challenge conventional wisdom, and speak up for idealism, intimacy, and depth in our work, our naysayers can sound awfully reasonable painting us as unrealistic or naive. 

Cynicism, often well-earn through past experience, has the effect of dulling the power of our dreams for what could be. In fact, cynicism often passes itself off for wisdom or insight. When bruised hearts and minds encounter the hopeful posture of someone else's idealism, they can attack the idealism using all kinds of language that passes for intelligent critique: 

Inefficient, unpredictable, impossible, naive, expensive, complex, overly-optimistic, or even, totally divorced from reality. 

Practicing transformative community leadership is a sure way to have your work, and perhaps even life choices, described in these terms. But living a life totally divorced from reality is not the same as a life lived in ignorance, apathy, or denial of life's pain. 

When we devote ourselves to the practice of idealism, intimacy, and depth of reflection, we are choosing to embody the possibility of a better life together. In that way, accusing "living in possibility" of being "totally divorced from reality" should only be seen as words of encouragement.

We declare with our actions and daily practices, that connection, community, solidarity, and justice are not the illusive fantasy, but an alternative future made possible here and now. We can choose the reality to which we want to be married, and divorce the one from which our best selves must be divorced.

Then we can find the courage to say to a cynical world: here lies Bjørn - totally divorced from reality.

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