Finding Our Footing For Leadership

Who do you think of when you think of a leader?

Leaders can often take on a larger than life presence in our imagination. They become icons, representative of what it means to lead. But these icons are often made into caricatures, one-dimensional people from whom we draw some problematic lessons.

I want to introduce you to three leaders who've drawn problematic lessons from their icons of leadership. 

First up is “Martha the Martyr”. As Martha understands leadership, it’s all about self-sacrifice in order to further the cause. Compared to her, no one works harder (in fact, she doesn’t ever really stop working), no one is more passionate (it appears to be all she thinks about), and no one is more giving of themselves (‘no’ is a word she does not use).

When Martha looks at her idea of an iconic leader, Martin Luther King Jr., she sees a person who made the ultimate sacrifice; giving his life – literally –for the sake of a better world. She understands the costs that often come with taking a stand for what is right, and she stands ready to give everything. Sad as it may seem to others, she knows that if she did not do the work, no one would.

But she’s also exhausted. She doesn’t remember the last time she could relax without feeling guilty for wasting time on herself. He co-workers worry about her, but also tend to emulate her worst habits. Martha knows that approach is unsustainable and that it has turned as many people off to her views as it has inspired. She has begun to believe that the polarizing effect she seems to now have on people is a sign of two things: 1) that’s the price of speaking the truth, and, 2) it’s the only honest way to do her work.

Martyrdom, for Martha, is the inevitable cost of true belief in her cause. Loneliness, desperation, and bitterness are part of the bargain that demands her life in exchange for a better world. Health, sustainability, justice, and life-giving relationships are the dream, but a dream she feels she must deny herself (and ultimately those by her side) in the work for a better world.

Second up is “More With Less Lenny”. Lenny’s understanding of leadership is ruled by a sense of scarcity. Years for working with less than was needed has made him understandably skeptical of people who promise that it’s possible he’ll one day have enough to do what he sees is needed. Long stretches of just-getting-by has taught him to stash away resources of those inevitable lean times.

Lenny’s icon of leadership was the founder of his organization, known to everyone as Big John. Big John’s frugality was legendary. Born during the Great Depression in the 1930’s U.S., he was able to make amazing impacts with next to nothing. When Lenny reflects on Big John, he sees a person who never complained about their circumstances, but instead, made the best of things – to mythical proportions.

But Lenny has also become a slave to cynicism. He rejects relationships that don’t hold a promise for a return on investment. His reputation for clear-eyed pragmatism has given cover for his increasing sense of dread about the sustainability of the work. His conservative fiscal views have evolved into a propensity to hoard, not only resources, but access, permission, relationships, and even hope.

Scarcity is the basic condition of the world as Lenny sees it. Investing in dreams, possibility, and “what ought to be” is foolishness and demonstrates a lack of responsibility. Acting out of fear and anxiety may not be ideal, but it is realistic. Keeping one’s head above water, according to Lenny, is all we can hope for.

Finally, we have “Kora The Conquering Hero”. To Kora, a leader is strong above all else. And strength is not one of these fluffy, new-age terms. Strength means control, it means power, and it means certainty. Kora is nothing if not confident in her unique ability to provide leadership in her context (which, by the way, happens to include any and all contexts). She is more than happy to claim her authority as a leader and expert, and encourages others to do the same (so long as it doesn’t challenge her own authority).

Kora’s icon of leadership is... well, herself. She sees herself as endowed with a unique capacity to take on the problems of the world. She fosters dependence on herself and demands loyalty. But because she-alone has the sufficient insights and skills to lead in this moment in time, Kora sees no need for her to reciprocate that loyalty.

Kora’s personal doubts and fears have to be pushed down and out of sight, even from herself. She believes that people need strength and certainty from their leader, so she separates herself from voices that are critical, and surrounds herself with people who will tell her how great she is.

But Kora’s need for control is increasingly isolating. Her fragile ego lashes out at people. Humiliation has become her tool for guaranteeing submission by those around her. And, Kora’s paranoia leaves her lonely, even in the midst of praise. But rather than seek healing and reconciliation, her pain leads to a doubling down on the manipulating, controlling, and isolating behavior that characterizes her view of leadership.

So... have you met some of these leaders? Or some combination of them?

Admittedly, these are only a few examples of folks who have taken all the wrong lessons from their icons of leadership. There are more examples to give, but hopefully you start to get the picture: Too many of us are putting into practice lessons that ultimately fail to make the world a better place – regardless of our mission statements or organizational mandates.

Too often leaders act as if the ends justify the means – meaning that leaders will trade their values and integrity in their daily practices for an outcome they hope will make up for their questionable, and often ugly behavior.

Too often leaders view change in society as something that requires someone else to change their behavior. For that reason, they’ll use deception, emotional manipulation, or socio-economic leverage to get someone else to change in the ways they dictate.

Too often leaders view vulnerability as irresponsible. They attempt to limit risk because they believe that control and predictability are signs of wisdom and strength. And they particularly see emotional vulnerability as the ultimate example of weakness.

Leaders who are working to create and protect dignity and wellbeing for all people need to commit themselves to learning better lessons, making space for critical reflection, and to finding wholeness from which they can work. This takes intentionality and community. 

If you're someone working to create and protect dignity and wellbeing, what intentionality are you practicing to learn, reflect, and heal? What communities of practice are you connected to?

If we're not the right fit for you, fair enough. But please realize the deep need we all have to create intentional spaces for action and reflection and to pursue those spaces in community. With Looking Bear Leadership or not, we hope you seek those spaces to find your footing for community leadership. 

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